The Little Horse That Burned in Tartarus [for Aphrodite]

[lightningthief]

How many times do I have to tell myself to not think about it?

I know I'm not supposed to think about how Ian's love has been spurned. I know I'm not supposed to think about how quickly and easily Wanderer decided to start messing around with some guy that suddenly popped up out of nowhere. I know I'm not supposed to obsess over how Ian's life could be spent loveless like mine had been.

I mean, my life hasn't been loveless. I've had Aphrodite. For a bit. At the end. I finish my thoughts aloud, "...even though her real love is Hephasteus...."

It's not... my thought's have been circling and circling around crap like this, and it's been making me moody. I know Aprhrodite's noticed. She's way too perceptive on my mood. I've put up a good nothing-is-wrong act, but she's not fooled. If I can just stall her some more, maybe I'll just get over it and we can all move on.

Wanderer certainly has moved on. That's for sure.

I pick up Secretarius, and ask him, "Did Wanderer really love him? Did she love him at all? Does anyone really, really love anyone for real?" I'm alone, sitting on our bed. Secretarius is Aphrodite's stuffed animal, a horse. "Sometimes, Horsie, I really think love is all a crock of shit. You know...horse shit? You know all about that, don't you, Horsie?"

I tip it back as if it was rearing up and have it answer back to me with a "Neiiiigh!"

"See how desperate I am, Horse? I'm talking my troubles out to a dumb stuffed animal like you. It's a start, though, right? You have to help your ol' pal Luke not think about her. Even though she's from a race better than mankind will ever be, she still drops me.. er, him... drops him like a lead weight for some dope she's met for about ten seconds. What do you think about that kind of horse shit, Mr. Horse?"

I make the little thing gallop up my leg and say in a stupid voice, "You suck at love, and every single one of your lives is gonna be cursed, dude! Screw you! Neiiiigh!"

I reply to the little horse in an overly calm voice, "You're right, Horsey. Guess I'll just have to suck it up. Like I always do. I'm not bitter. Luke, son of Hermes, is never, ever bitter."

I have the horse answer back. "You're a fucking liar! Neiiiigh!!!"

"Yes, that's right, Horse. I am a liar. I am a bitter liar. And, you know what bitter liars do when they can't make things go their way? They order miserable little cretins like you to get eaten by their drakon."

"Screw you. You don't have a drakon anymore! Neiiigh!"

"That's right. So, I open this portal to Tartarus, where I cast you in to burn for all eternity in flame. Happy trails, Horsie!"

And, with that, I fling the horse away. It bounces off the ceiling and wall in the corner.

Comments

[just_hormones]

For a moment Aphrodite doesn't know how to respond. It doesn't seem like he's going to be talked out of his upset over this, but at least she's cautiously optimistic that his feelings for her aren't what's being called into question.

So after a few moments, she just slides forward on the bed, closing the distance between them to take one of his hands in both of hers. "What can I do to help?" she asks sincerely, wanting only to be there for him as much as she can.

[lightningthief]

The way her hand reaches out to me gets me to sit back down on the bed and take it in mine. It hits me just how much I need her love.

"You're not too mad at me? You do want to help me?"

[just_hormones]

"Well of course I'm mad, but that doesn't mean I don't want to help," Aphrodite says, though she's less mad now than she was when she first walked in. "I love you, I always want to support you. I'm just trying to understand what you're going through."

[lightningthief]

"I just.. I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to live another life without love." At that last word I give her hand a small squeeze. I'm not even sure if that was conscious or not. "I'll leave Wanderer and whoever that guy is alone. I know Ian is probably not me, and I'll try to just put it out of my mind and not obsess over it."

[just_hormones]

Aphrodite squeezes Luke's hand back. "I know you don't. I don't want that for you either," she says. She realizes, then, that she really does want him to have love in his other lives, with whoever it may be, even if part of her wants to be able to claim him in all of them. "I can't do anything about your other lives."

She shifts, scooting into his lap. "But I can make sure you have more love than you can stand in this one."

[lightningthief]

I smile at that.

"Thanks. You know your love means everything to me, right?"

I wrap my arms around her. About now, I'm just ready to cave and let her hug a lot of festering bitterness out of me.

[just_hormones]

She nods, sliding her arms around his shoulders. "And that goes both ways," Aphrodite tells him. "Your love means everything to me too." It's really important to her to make that clear to him.