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Confrontation [for Annabeth]
Dec. 5th, 2010 10:00 amIt's a lonely, stressful life for me on Tabula Rasa.
I know a few people who I'll talk to here and there who don't know much about my past. The ones who do? I've been avoiding them. Just like I said. I rationalize that I'm doing them a favor. That I'm doing it for them. I'm not able to directly face the fact that I'm doing it for myself. It's much too painful for me to come to grips that my revenge is going to consume them all. It's unavoidable, and I'm beginning to think that the reason I'm here is to suffer from guilt for all the things I've done, and what I'm about to do.
But Gabrielle is right. I need to get my mind off it as much as I can. So, I'm out back behind my hut doing something constructive. I've borrowed some tools from the building crew, and I'm using them to construct practice dummies for combat training. I've even got plans to make something similar to the lava wall. I know we can't use actual lava like we used to at Camp Half-Blood, but I'm thinking of rigging something with water or mud. It's a plan in progress. Seifer will get a kick out of it all, I'm sure.
I've already completed some human-sized dummies with wooden frames and sack-and-straw bodies. I'm on to a larger cyclops-sized dummy now, which is why I'm dragging a very large log. It takes longer with just one person doing a two person job, but it seems I've got all the time in the world. As I'm heaving this thing along, I catch sight of a person coming.
It's Annabeth.
My jaw begins to drop, but not as fast as the log drops onto my foot.
"Ow! Blazing Tartarus!"
I manage to free my foot and then drop to one knee. It hurts. This is one big reminder that I'm just not as quick as I used to be back home.
I know a few people who I'll talk to here and there who don't know much about my past. The ones who do? I've been avoiding them. Just like I said. I rationalize that I'm doing them a favor. That I'm doing it for them. I'm not able to directly face the fact that I'm doing it for myself. It's much too painful for me to come to grips that my revenge is going to consume them all. It's unavoidable, and I'm beginning to think that the reason I'm here is to suffer from guilt for all the things I've done, and what I'm about to do.
But Gabrielle is right. I need to get my mind off it as much as I can. So, I'm out back behind my hut doing something constructive. I've borrowed some tools from the building crew, and I'm using them to construct practice dummies for combat training. I've even got plans to make something similar to the lava wall. I know we can't use actual lava like we used to at Camp Half-Blood, but I'm thinking of rigging something with water or mud. It's a plan in progress. Seifer will get a kick out of it all, I'm sure.
I've already completed some human-sized dummies with wooden frames and sack-and-straw bodies. I'm on to a larger cyclops-sized dummy now, which is why I'm dragging a very large log. It takes longer with just one person doing a two person job, but it seems I've got all the time in the world. As I'm heaving this thing along, I catch sight of a person coming.
It's Annabeth.
My jaw begins to drop, but not as fast as the log drops onto my foot.
"Ow! Blazing Tartarus!"
I manage to free my foot and then drop to one knee. It hurts. This is one big reminder that I'm just not as quick as I used to be back home.
